The Content of their Character pt. 6

We all want our children to be good.  Some of us remember those immortal words of Martin L. King, Jr.

 

But how many of us can easily recite a list of ingredients or traits a good character contains?  The parochial school where I didn't send my children has a special curriculum, complete with books, worksheets, and posters on the wall, stressing thirteen positive character traits.  We allow religious schools more leeway in discussing ethics, morals, and virtue than public schools.  However, as parents,we shouldn't depend on our children's schools to teach them how to be good people.

You might be blessed with wise parents, grandparents, or spiritual leaders who can tell you how to raise the perfect child.  If not, there is enough information out there in libraries and on the web that, if you're lucky, you might teach yourself before your children are grown.  But why reinvent the wheel when you have enough work on your hands as a parent already?  Here are some suggestions, taken from Ben Franklin, thought by some to be the wisest American of all time, and Rabbi Israel Salanter, the founder of the Jewish ethical movement,  מוסר.

GENTLENESS

 First, let's consider how we don't want our children to be. Not everyone regards gentleness as a virtue.  Some see it as a sign of weakness.  It didn't make Ben Franklin's top ten list. Yet angry, abusive, and bad-tempered people may earn fear, but they don't often earn respect.  Dr. King himself taught us that sometimes delivering a message with non-violence can make it a more powerful message.  Parents who can deliver reprimands without shouting at their children model this rare but admirable character trait. The words of the wise are with gentleness heard, so therefore always strive to speak gently.  As another rabbi put it, The words of the wise are stated gently. In being good, do not be called ‘evil’.  In other words, don't let your means defeat your ends.
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