The Content of their Character pt. 10

We all want our children to be good.  Some of us remember those immortal words of Martin L. King, Jr. 

But how many of us can easily recite a list of ingredients or traits a good character contains?  The parochial school where I didn't send my children has a special curriculum, complete with books, worksheets, and posters on the wall, stressing thirteen positive character traits.  We allow religious schools more leeway in discussing ethics, morals, and virtue than public schools.  However, as parents,we shouldn't depend on our children's schools to teach them how to be good people.

You might be blessed with wise parents, grandparents, or spiritual leaders who can tell you how to raise the perfect child.  If not, there is enough information out there in libraries and on the web that, if you're lucky, you might teach yourself before your children are grown.  But why reinvent the wheel when you have enough work on your hands as a parent already?  Here are some suggestions, taken from Ben Franklin, thought by some to be the wisest American of all time, and Rabbi Israel Salanter, the founder of the Jewish ethical movement, מוסר.

MODESTY

Do you know people who constantly update their facebook pages to boast about their own honors and accomplishments?  The man who only cares about himself or the woman who talks about nothing but herself all the time annoys everybody.  It's hard to like a person who is arrogant and vain.  We all prefer the person who listens when we want to do the talking.  If we want our children to enjoy the positive regard of other people, we need to teach them that the universe doesn't revolve around them, but that other people are as worthy of attention and regard as they are.   
That doesn't mean we should put ourselves down.  As the great Rabbi Hillel said, If I am not for myself, who will be for me?  And if I am only for myself, what am I?  If we are willing to see the good in others and the flaws in ourselves, then we will be able to learn from others and improve ourselves.  Ben Franklin's advice was "Imitate Jesus and Socrates," and R. Salanter's, "Recognize your own shortcomings and pay no attention to those of others." 
See more here.