The Content of their Character pt. 13

We all want our children to be good.  Some of us remember those immortal words of Martin L. King, Jr.

But how many of us can easily recite a list of ingredients or traits a good character contains?  The parochial school where I didn't send my children has a special curriculum, complete with books, worksheets, and posters on the wall, stressing thirteen positive character traits.  We allow religious schools more leeway in discussing ethics, morals, and virtue than public schools.  However, as parents,we shouldn't depend on our children's schools to teach them how to be good people.

You might be blessed with wise parents, grandparents, or spiritual leaders who can tell you how to raise the perfect child.  If not, there is enough information out there in libraries and on the web that, if you're lucky, you might teach yourself before your children are grown.  But why reinvent the wheel when you have enough work on your hands as a parent already?  Here are some suggestions, taken from Ben Franklin, thought by some to be the wisest American of all time, and Rabbi Israel Salanter, the founder of the Jewish ethical movement,  מוסר.

SILENCE

One principle my mother used to stress when I was a girl comes from that famous Disney philosopher, Thumper the Bunny:  

Or as Robert Frost put it, "Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it."  Nobody likes a constant complainer, and children who demand to be the center of attention all the time grow up to be adults whom others would rather avoid.  Not only do people prefer to have other people listen to them, but they will be more likely to listen to us if we save our breath for something truly important.   

Children should be taught the virtue of choosing their words carefully, and not talking unless they have something worthwhile to say.  As Rabbi Salanter put it,"Consider the result that is to come out of your words before you speak."  Ben Franklin's advice was Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation."
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